What I'm about to post will probably be the most personal thought I have ever pen-ed down on this blog.
After Taylors counselling today with my parents, they have come totally clean with me and gave me only two options to go about my future.
Option A : Do A-levels at Taylors (yahoo), but give up on Medicine later because they cannot afford it (zomg). I'd have to pursue another career.
Option B : Go to Form Six (yuck) and try my luck at entering local U for Medicine (which according to everyone and the counsellor, the chances are next to zilch)
So clearly it has made my choice so much "easier".
This news has sent my life into a total tailspin. I mean, I probably should have seen this coming. And I did. I just never expected it to be such a BIG dissapointment.
I'd always pity others who, because of financial constraints, had to give up on pursuing a career.
I never thought that one day, I'll have to be pitying myself.
I know I sound kind off dramatic right now, but thats how my parents have made me feel. Not that its their fault.
My mother is now trying to convince me to pursue another career. And I'm very pissed off at myself for allowing her to even persuade me. I mean, clearly my resolve to become a doctor isn't as strong as I thought it was. Otherwise I wouldn't even be thinking about this, I would be jumping straight into Form Six. My only chance at Medicine.
I can't believe that I'm actually THINKING about giving up. But thats reality. I've heard all the pep talks from friends and family. How "If you have hope you can do it!"
But dey, this is reality we're talking about. Not a page off some Disney story.
Whatever I choose, will determine what happens to me in the future. I don't want to have many regrets. But I just feel at this point, life is being very unfair to me. I know living is supposed to be full of unfair-ness, but I didn't expect to face so many dissapointments already at this age. It makes me afraid to think off what waits for me tommorow.
But I have comfort thinking that life isn't only unfair to me. It's unfair to a zillion others out there. Down to those in Africa, and those who have to die before they could learn how to speak.
Sigh. Looking at this perspective isn't making me feel any better. I need my other two men's advice.
I hate giving up, but in this case, I think I have too.
2 comments:
As cliche as it may be, it's not the end of the road. You could work really hard to get a schorlarship. I've seen ppl do this. Or choose another line of interest. Sometimes, at this point we may think this is the only thing i want to do, but when u try something else, you may realise u hv passion in something else tt you never reasiled before. I have frens who were dead set on medicine2, but today discovered they are really happy in their new chosen path. Life is strange in that way.
Form 6 is not all that bad u knoe? It's said that form 6 is the 2nd hardest exam in the world and it's not only a road to go to local u. At the education fair the other day, even unis in US recognise STPM and so do loads of other unis world wide.
Post a Comment