Friday, November 28, 2008

so heres my story...

OK. srsly. what is happening to you guys?? Have you both decided to take a very dramatic and glamorous disappearance retreat and not tell me about it? Guys, don't i sound ultra distressed and yet, i hear nothing from the two of you?

i'm also hyperventilating at the frequency of a bee's wings right now, which probably is like 5 kazillion flutters per half second. exams are just two days away. did i stress, how much i hate countdowns?? they're soo un-fab, say for eg. the countdown to new years eve- so much dissapointment there! You always expect so much (an episode of Friends is to be blamed for this) and end up getting so little. it's pretty much like sex.

and about my totally O.M.G story. Yes Lisa, i have not mistaken. said homeless man was jacking off in public. it all happened like this. i was rushing home after a taxing day in college, trying my best to run in my extremely heavy sling bag (i swear, fashion is such a drag) and there was this section where this hawker shop was closed or something lame like that. and! there was a man sitting on some rotten piece of wood, eyes closed, muttering to himself. it wasn't until i actually passed by him that i saw the whole of his right hand inside the front of his pants!

i was so O.M.G at this moment. if you know me, you can imagine.

backing up to the story, to put it simply, i saw alot of hand action going on down there. it was as vigorous as Beyonce's bootie when she sang Baby Boy live. i swear on my life. and obvy D he was probably fantasizing about some PlayBoy bunneh or sumfin and muttering to himself - which explains the closed eyes and the mutterings.

some of my coll friends even went to the extent, asking me if i actually saw him come. O.M.F.G majorly??? of course i wasn't gonna stick around to find out if he could fire or not!! i HAD to take advantage of the fact that he didn't see me seeing him (because his eyes were closed) else God only knows what he would have done to me. i radiate alot of sexual aura ok?


ekk! goosebumps right now. thats all for my exclusively traumatizing experience with a man in public. i never thought i lived to see a day where a man was jacking off in front of me. so. not. needed. you see what i mean? life is such a majorly HUGE dissapointment.

xoxo.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

YUCK

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! im feeling very Britney Spears at the mo!!!!!!!!! This is to diee!!!!

Ms. Annie took my cellphone away from me!!! It was all so melodramatic, like some chinese soap opera played in black and white starring me and the Biology teacher. Summarizing, I was actually in the middle of texting Tiff from across the class to tell Irene to zip her pants because she forgot and was making a total fool out of herself standing in front of the class giving answers. I mean, hello??? I was being totally nice right? If she was a guy I would have told her myself, but she evidently isn't. You can't expect moi to tell her, how tres' perv will that sound? And I can't just NOT say anything can I? she was standing right in front of EVERYONE.
(i was so omg at this point)

Ekk. I cannot believe she stole my precious away from me because i was texting to save someone from a major humi-M!!! this is so Encik Allen and she doesn't even know it. and I can't exactly defend myself! WHAT was I gonna say? "Oh sorry, Miss, I had to text Tiffy to tell Irene to zip her pants??" zomg. imagine. doesn't it sound all wrong already?

so, in case any of you thought I've gone and taken a very dramatic, glamorous disappearance bout. I am not. Call me at home if you need anything (which i know you will)

it worsens, Iven also conviniently told me to lose weight whilst i was wiping the whiteboard today. so much for thinking i've slimmed down yesterday.

i swear, i'm never doing anything nice ever. life is more glam that way. do you now understand why i feel so Britney???? (fat and miserable) You FEEEL me????
xoxo

PS : I also spotted a homeless man jerking off in public. O.M.G. i'm saving this story for another day. wait for it.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Oh G,

I swear, I am more afraid of exams than I am of the Saudis witholding their precious oil.

Not because it's stressful or anything (not that it isn't) but it's making life devastatingly un-fab for me. I feel depressed so often, i'm losing weight. Which probably is the silver lining of this obstacle "so they say".

And to my darling, it's okay to be paranoid, even if there's absolutely nothing to be paranoid about. Put it this way, all girlfriends have to be paranoid about their bfs sub-conciously. That way, when something is up, everyone can't tell you "I told you so" and you'll feel better about it. But if nothing is up, well, at least you're playing the cards right and being safe. You get me? It's a little like that whole Saudi thing all over again, coming back to my case in point. You just have to learn how to do it subtlely.

AM I absolutely spot on or what?
i'll host a paranoia party for you when my ickie exams are over

xoxo.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Poppin' 'em Pills

Gaining wisdom is a, effing ham7 painful process, if you know what I'm talking about. Of course you don't.

I'm talking about the wisdom tooth homie. The tooth that supposedly comes out only when one has come of age and achieved a level of maturity (I seem to be disproving this myth though, much to Ming's demise). But at what price? Excruciating pain for a useless mandibular third molar? Hell I didn't even want them in the first place!

But my rants are in vain. Who can ever fully understand the biological conundrum that is the human body except for the Maker?

I don't mind if it just quietly emerge from within my gums and minding its own business but no, it had to make itself known by throwing a big party through an inflammation that kept me up all night. The best part is that it isn't even visible yet! Good la good. You wouldn't wanna know what methods I resolved to suppress the pain, which were all in vain. To help you understand the nature of the pain better, it's as if you were giving birth. I think that is fairly accurate.

However I have consulted the doc' and he worked his magic, which is how I came to meet my new friend, Mr. Painkiller. I don't think anybody in this world appreciates the miracle that is the painkiller except for me and House. Just pop one in and it's Hakuna Matata. No more almost exploding gum sensation, no more hanging plastic bags on your face and it re-enables your ability to enjoy swallowing again. This phenomenon brings the phrase "One-Stop Solution" to a whole new level.

I guess this is the miracle of which they call modern medicine. Go Ming go!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Oh! it is love

just something to laugh about :

Salad Fingers

totally. it's one of those things that make life all the brighter because you know you're not the stupidest thing on Earth. in actuality you might be, (because Salad Fingers is imaginary and made) but the stupidest person on Earth wouldn't be able to figure that out anyway.

why i find this so amusing, is owing to the fact that i'm feeling pretty stupid right now; all thanks to the AS past year papers. A PA one week before the exams is so not cool. i'm going through a very difficult phase in life right now you bitches, do something!

you know fuck? yeaaaah very good. fuck you then.
- quote sumitha
xx

Monday, November 17, 2008

Why I sometimes drive with the radio off

Just came back from Spanish class. The drive back home was annoying on the account of the radio. Certain diptera naming, don'tz knowz howz toz spellz radio stations were the root of this vexation.

I actually went through all the channels I had hot buttoned on my radio ie 1 2 3 4 5 6. 1 through 6 were adverts. All of them promoting something or another.

On Diptera FM you had a mobile phone service provider, paying big bucks to an advertising company, to come up with ultimately, an avian influenced advert. Subscribe to us, cause we have a certain winged animal(that tastes incredibly tasty done Peking-style), as our mascot?

On Don'tz Knowz Howz Toz Spellz, we had a couple complaining that their son kept having dreams about a certain two-legged, gloved wearing, pants with two buttons wearing rodent. And their brilliant plan to relieve their son of these rodent infested nightmares is, 'Let's bring him to NZX, as they are having a Disneylandish carnival there'. Yeah, when my son has recurring nightmares about a talking mouse who has a yellow dog and a duck as a friend, I bring him to the one place in Malaysia that is FILLED with these characters. Some one better call child services.

On channel 6, ...as-a-feather FM, the station famed for the older generation (however in denial they are of this fact;- as-a-feather FM purports that they also cater for the younger generation eg Saturday Night Fever). We literally have on 'call 1800 now to get rid of those pesky termites', 'buy our prunes for better bowel movements' etc etc.

I understand that adverts are how radio stations earn a decent revenue, but come on, when one is stuck in a jam or when one drives a 13 year old Proton Seems to Always Give Anger that doesn't have a CD player, one would like to listen to some music, not some lackluster pair of voice actors talking about going to some optician to get a pair of spectacles claiming that they 'make you look SOOooooOO much younger!'.

However, when music DOES come on in the end, well, this might not be the station's fault, I always find myself disappointed. Don't know if it's just me, but I'm kinda tired of listening to a trio of brothers wondering about a "baby...turn(ing) the temperature hotter" as they seem to be "slippin' into lava" and they unfortunately are "burnin' up, burnin' up, baby".

The worst came when I was reminded of a time when someone complained that I didn't contribute enough to the environment. In other words, I wasn't 'green' enough. What sparked this sudden reminiscence, was another of DontzKnowzHowzTozSpellz's out reach programs. The guest artist used the power of the media to deliver this message, I quote, "Save a plastic, save the world".

I love Heroes references as much as the next guy, but this time, not so much.

I do my part for the environment in an almost indirect way. I switch off the lights when I leave the room and turn off the tap when not in use. My intentions not for a better environment but to save money on bills. I don't litter or throw my trash into the ocean for the sole reason I support a cleaner city and clearer oceans (I love Pulau Redang).

Furthermore, I despise the idea of doing a good when it inconveniences you in turn. Eg, you will never see me contemplating the use of the air-con when I want to. You will never see me contemplating an alternative route to the mall when I have a (im)perfectly functional car filled with petrol on the driveway.

Then someone comes along and tells me that I'm not green enough because I use plastic bags? I'm not green enough because I throw my aluminium cans in the trash can and not the trash can of a different colour?

That's why I always question those who so believe that they are for the environment. I am too for the environment, I don't want polar bears out of a place to live, I don't want an increase in skin cancer cases. But when someone comes out to say I'm not green ENOUGH? I ask them the same. Cause the fact is, they probably aren't either.

Crazy huh? How many things can be stirred up just because I decided to turn the dial on my radio to the right.

Note to self: Get CD player. Quick.

wb

surprised to hear from me? i betcha. apologies for the long hiatus, i know what a dread it is to be deprived of your daily dose of moi pie. but no worries, i am far from extinct. just something horrible moved into my house haunting all members of the household, namely, exams.

don't worry. last i check, it will move out by the end of Dec the 8th.

gossip?

oo. i heard enough these past few weeks to make your hair curl. but as per usual, i shall keep you in suspense until i gather enough information to prove my suspicions true. keep your panties on.

happenings?

SAM 08' Prom night checking in! some of you might wonder what the hell does an A-lvl student like me got nething' to do with SAM? the answer is simple. i'm hot and i talk about whats hot at the mo. so i hope you hopefuls have prepared yourselves well. it's only two days away. i wonder who will win best dressed? and will the best dressed title be any worth at all??

too bad im anything but in the middle of all the drama. but rest be assured, i won't let the event go uncovered without my private eyes keeping a l-d for me.

nothing stays secret bitches.
and look forward to the holidays, it's the beggining of the end.
xoxo

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Harvey Headbanger

It's been a long time coming.. so here it comes. Introducing my web album/gallery! Planned to launch it almost 2 weeks ago but oh well.. shy I guess. Check it out and tell me what you think.

Click

If you were wondering why is there so little stuff there or what happened to my other stuff, well if you haven't already know, my other hard drive crashed out about 9 months ago. Tres' sad I know.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

'Don't hit my car'

Why 'Baby on board'?

Why do those signs people put on their back windscreens have to say Baby on board?

Just because they let it be known to other drivers on the road that they might or might not have a baby in their car, what?

We're not supposed to hit them? We're supposed to be more careful? And if they don't have a baby, we go Fast and Furious on them?

Please! Whether or not I have a baby in my 12 year old blue Saga, with the upper left corner of my back windscreen dominated by a red P sticker (the misinformed always think it's on the right hand corner), doesn't change the fact you shouldn't ram me my car from behind.

Imagine we all have signs informing other drivers what's in our cars:

'Persian cat on board'

'Married couple on board. If you see this after 28/11/09: Baby on board'

'Single woman 21, loves long walks on beach, looking for adventurous man to complete life on board'

'Man who religiously horns if horny on board. Overtake with caution'

No matter the contents of the car, all of the above and more are equally deserving of not getting into an accident.

'Baby on board'. Pfft.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

sneak post

hey doods!~ i know i said i'll be officially grounding myself (nothing specific about coming online tho) but this is too hot not to talk about!!!

my brother finally bought the XBOX 360.

yes. i can hear your squeals of delight all the way from PJ cheeks. but he didn't buy Halo- I will personally see to that. not that i'm into that sorta game and all, but i wanna see whats the fuss all about. and it would be nice to have smth for you guys to play when you sleepover during december rightt? (ahh im such a worthy bff)

sounds bagus atau tidak?

and avid readers. the Inheritance cycle is oMFG. srsly. i screamed so loud towards the last few chapters of Brisingr. i'm thirsty for more ;( why is it authors always have to leave you hanging and waiting for the next book for years (Harry Potter is the essential example) i hate and love you Christopher Paolini (although you're not very DDG-ish)

but you do make Eragon sound DDG. which is... uhm... chun. haha. for those of you waiting to read it, wait till you find out why the book was named Brisingr.
goodstuff it is!

xoxo.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Yay bama

can anyone like, go anywhere, without freaking hearing about Obama today?

srsly. i'm glad he won and all, but isn't it kinda obvious he was going to win anyway? people have even started pre-party-ing Obama would win the elections, way before the actual election even started!! (Americans that is, Msians party nuts arh, sibuk)

andd judging by the enthusiasm in which CNN reports, Sarah's *inserts cough here* "good" speeches, Obama so obvyD had it in the bag. so! the better question stands now. do you think he'll make a good president? i mean, technically; being mr.P of the United States of America is being MrBIG-P of the world-what with the secret agents, and their uncanny ability to destabilize and monopolize world economics.

ooo the secret services.. wouldn't mind getting into some trouble with them. i bet candidates have to have sexy written all over their resumes. have you seen how smexy they look on TV?

i better shut up now before i digress any further. jals is going to kill me for turning this hot sensitive topic into something materialistic and gossipy. apologies mate!

see you both after my exams ;(
im officially grounding myself as of today.
xoxo

Monday, November 3, 2008

we're pretty cute for two ugly people

If you were a wink, I'd be a nod
If you were a seed, well I'd be a pod.
If you were the floor, I'd wanna be the rug
And if you were a kiss, I know I'd be a hug

omgg.. shoo cute. i love the Juno Soundtrack. click me to listen. somehow, the girl kinda reminds me of you Lisa, in a non-pregnant way. i mean shes sarcastic enough, and at all the inappropriate times also! (ahem, macam u je ie. the remarks you made to the indian mad robber)

sigh. if only all relationships were so ridiculous, cool and turns out so sweet in the end. evidently, the real thang is so much more complicated and (for lack of a better word), ickie. i mean, how often do you actually hear of a totally sweet (enviable) relationship these days? what happened to old school romance (guys being the totally romantic gentleman) that, it seems, is tres' too much to ask for these days.

well don't worry babes. the ideal man is NOT out there. no point waiting. settle for something less or just stay single for life and fuck every hot (shithole-y) man you see. double fives to the ideal life- its the only way to live and be happy (experimentally true)

sorry if i totally killed you hopeless romantics.
then again, you hopeless romantics shouldn't be reading ze blog at all. go read some emo and expressive blog like Lee-sah's at the mo. (couldn't resist Lis! tee hee)

and a pic from Halloween babes.
xoxo
PS : Sarah Jess. i WILL blackmail both of you. jajaja.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

hallow-een

As per honouring the tradition of Halloween, my friend, mr-kimbabbadibab took things to a whole new level. check this babes, isn't it awesome or isn't it awesome?

ewww. a vampire is trying to bite fanty-moi, and all suzeney can do is pose? euck.

andd, this year is a good year. i never really celebrated halloween before (although i tried to countless times in the past, to no avail) but this year sooo no SPDV! let's do this again some other time bitches!!! it was so fun. and no you pervy-pervs, we didn't lose our virginity. just some clean fun for the ghostly night. and Sarah, i can now blackmail you after all those things you said last night ;) (same goes for you Jess)

xx

bid halloween goodbye fabulous people, you and i know xcatly what that means. Christmas is just around the corner ;) -kyeling will be home and everyone will be on break. isn't life just tres fab. I for one, can't wait. imagine the gossip with all that free time? my nails hurt just thinking of it.

fingers crossed for a good november and december.
xoxo