Negaraku

Have you ever seen a ship sinking? I would think it would be a slow and painful process watching a huge cruise liner sinking and people are scrambling out and there is fire and the fire reflects itself on the ocean surface and in the eye of the passengers save those who have relatives and loved ones deep down in the dark blue sea; cause in their eyes it's probably tears and tears as we all know are not really good reflectors on account of them being very runny.

I haven't.

But probably felt the same way after hearing about today's bomb attacks on churches.

The government is awesome in tackling the situation just splendid! They want to crackdown on suspects using the ISA (Whoopeee!) and they want to crackdown on websites "encouraging" illegal demonstrations (WHOPPPEEEE!) And guess which websites and who are the people going to be caught in this huge Idontgiveafuck fishing net the government is releasing?

Just guess.

Bloody fucking hell, do they think we are stupid and can't see through this ridiculous facade. Do they think people are going to fall for this false sense of heroism and sacrifice they will probably spew all over the place.

"Of course we had to crack down on sites like malaysiakini and blogs by opposition members/supporters. It's for the better good."

We're not dumb! We can see this is a bloody excuse to shut down opposition channels and platforms. We know after what happened today (probably fucking orchestrated by the government themselves. which makes it even scarier and more disgusting) that demonstrations regarding false imprisonment and human rights and murders swept under the carpet will never see light again.

What's worse, is all of this - The bombings, the restriction of the use of the word Allah in bibles, it could all be a ploy. Just mere distractions to keep us rakyat entertained while they just fuck us from behind.

It's rape.

Tonight's dinner was grim. Dad and I were shocked and stunned and depressed. I swear I could see tears in his eyes. The topic of the night was this country, what is happening, what has happened. And it's shameful and appalling. To tell you what I'm so mad about or what my dad is so mad about...I wouldn't even know where to start. Seriously. How do I start? Altantuya? ISA? Teoh's murder? Censorship of main medias? Racism in politics? Corruption?

I use to tease my dad about always talking about politics with his friends and the uncles. I use to tell him he was exaggerating. He's not. That's what's fucked up. He's not.

Bagaikan kacang lupakan kulit. Something like that. I wanted to do that so badly today. Just wash my hands clean, say I GIVE UP OKAY! YOU WIN! DO WHATEVER YOU WANT WITH THIS GAME YOU CALL MALAYSIA!

But when I think about it. If I don't care, a rakyat, a citizen of a country which I love so much, which I call home, if I don't care,

Who fucking will?