Whose ashes?

So, Michael Jackson died. His tribute, well more like his funeral, was said to cost $1.4million. That’s an expensive funeral. Now, don’t get me wrong, I loved MJ, well his music more than him, but 1.4mil for a funeral?

Again, don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to complain about the ramifications of such large scale spending in a time where the economy is as stable as a…very unstable thing.

No, no. Not about MJ and certainly not about the economy.But about death.The concept of an extravagant funeral is making me think.

Why? Why do we find the need to purchase a large wooden casket in which trees were chopped down (in MJ’s case, 14 carat gold trees) for a lifeless body, invite friends and family over for a bite and some mourning then later in the day finish it off with beautiful speeches, prayers and poetry. All of which FOR the deceased but heard by the living.

And I hardly believe, that if there is such a thing as the spirit of a being, that it would be able to hang around and watch the ceremony and nod in appreciation at how the flowers set the appropriate “there is a death in the family tone” and that Jason did a good job in not allowing Uncle Hector to deliver a eulogy. Wouldn’t this ethereal-being be a tad busy talking to St. Whoseits at the Gates made out of Whatsits?

I always had the plan of being cremated. If you thought ‘hahaha, cremated alive!’ there is very little to say regarding your sense of humour. I don’t know why though. And there’s that problem of what to do about the ashes. I love the ocean, so I thought it would be rather romantic for my ashes to be thrown out into the ocean, a clean one; plus, it would make a stunning photograph.

But that’s the thing, MY ashes? How can it be MY ashes; the organism in which the pronoun ‘my’ is applied to is no longer…‘him’. The same grammatical concept can be applied to the funeral, the casket, the grave, the tombstone, the altar, the ashes, the urn etc.

You are not there, the concept of ‘you’ has disappeared along with your heartbeat and brain activity. So surely, there is no way in which I would be offended if my – ‘the’ ashes were thrown not into the ocean but down the jamban or Selat Melaka (they’re increasingly becoming one of the same anyway). The same would go for the 1.4mil funeral, I, well the concept of ‘ME’ wouldn’t give two hoots as to whether or not Mariah Carey is present to sing off key.

Here lies nothing.

No, seriously.
Think about it.