Monday, April 26, 2010

Walk Away

And it hurts my soul
Cos I can't let go
All these walls are caving in
I can't stop my suffering
I hate to show that I've lost control
Cos I, I keep going right back
To the one thing that I need to walk away from


Crystal's dad passed away yesterday afternoon. the funeral was one of the most surreal ones i've ever attended. it had peace, above all things; and such a strong sense of loss i had to look away from the house to keep from crying.

be strong Crystal, our prayers are with you.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

i left my head and my phone on the dance floor

i have an eye (cornea to be exact) abrasion on my left eye and its KILLING me.

the symptoms?
1. it feels as if a large piece of particle is in your eyelid, to which you try extensively to wash it out. to no avail obviously! because there's nothing there.
2. you lacrimate excessively. blurring vision.
3. you get migraines simply because it's so irritating to have something in your eye.

i haven't actually gone to the opthalmologist, but i'm pretty sure it's a corneal abrasion. i got some medication for relief, and so far it's working well. the eye feels as if it's healing... it's just sometimes it gets so irritating i feel like pulling my eye out.

i am badly in need of some love now :( sakit tau.

Monday, April 12, 2010

.

I don't know if you guys heard...

I read this on Ines' profile on Facebook. It is scary and very saddening. Just wanted to share.

All this political, ISA "things" we like to complain about but don't really "feel"...

Is real.

how do you sleep at night, sir?
By Inessa Irdayanty

the latest news is, as written by Star Online,

The 800gm of “powder” found at actor Khaeryll Benjamin Ibrahim’s condominium unit in Kepong is not cocaine, said the police.

“The 800gm of powder confiscated was not cocaine and we have requested the Chemistry Department to conduct tests again,”.

why the retest is necessary, i do not know. just like how they needed about 10 plain clothed cops to rearrest my brother after the bail was posted, i do not know. and as much as i try to comprehend, i can't.

i'm just hoping that all of this end soon enough, before my mother breaks down - she has been very strong about this; before my father speaks up - we all know how quiet he usually is; before my sister loses her patience - God knows she already has very little of that; and before my 4-year-old nephew is old enough to realise what is going on, and have these bullshit questions running through his head the way they run through mine.

thank you very much to all of you out there who are supporting us, praying for us, or at the very least ask us how we are. it means a lot to us, trust me.

one favour i would like to ask from all of you, is to please read the note below, written by my sister Elza Irdalynna, and to perhaps re-post this, if you may. please, and thank you. God bless.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On March 11th, he was arrested at his apartment's parking lot in Segambut. Police brought him to an apartment he rented in Kepong, and after entering, claimed that in that residence, he possessed 800grams of cocaine, and 140grams of methamphetamine, and accused him of processing and trafficking, putting him under the risk of being charged under Section 39B, which carries the death penalty.

On March 12th he was remanded for 7 days. When my parents inquired if we can engage a lawyer, the Investigation Officer told us "No need".

On March 17th, after our family waited more than an hour, we were allowed to see him for the very first time, under supervision.
Again my mother asked if we should get him a lawyer, again the I.O advised against it, claiming "Lawyer tak boleh buat apa-apa sekarang. Buang duit je. (Lawyer can't do anything now. It's simply a waste of money)."

On March 18th, his remand was extended another 7 days. The magistrate inquired why there was no lawyer present for him, and whether he was made aware he had the right to a counsel of his choice. He replied "No." Therefore, he requested for one, and only nine hours later, did the I.O call to inform my mother, who promptly engaged Amer Hamzah Arshad.

But the very next day, the police used their Executive authority under Section 28A that vetoed his right to a counsel. All requests made by our lawyer to visit him was denied.

Only after we complained to SUHAKAM, did the police allow Amer to visit him.
On the last day of his remand.
After the investigations were concluded.
For only 15 minutes.

On March 25th, he was brought to court, and charged under Section 12(2) for possession of 0.24grams of metaphetamin in his Segambut residence. Nothing the police claimed they found in the Kepong residence, the cocaine and shabu that was "already packaged to be distributed" or the so called "cocaine processing mini-lab" was brought to court.

Because there WAS none.

He was released on bail. A trial date was set. He was so close to being free, and seeing his 4 year old son again.
But as he was signing the papers of his release, the Plainclothes were outside waiting.

Not two steps after he came out of the bail department, without any explanation, they re-arrested him. Amer was restrained from protecting him, and only after Amer repeatedly asked them to show their I.D, did they do so. Still, no explanation was given to the family. We were merely told to go to the Headquarters and speak to Inspector Kang. The same guy who claimed my brother possessed the cocaine they NEVER found.

He never saw us, he was "in a meeting." He wasn't too occupied to give the press a statement, but was unavailable to see us.
We were told by the new I.O for this case, and the DSP (the guy who signed the papers denying my brother the right to a counsel) that they are detaining him for 60 days under the Special Preventive Measures Act (LPK), after which, they could further detain him for 2 years if found guilty.

Guilty according to THEM. For under this act, it is a detention without trial, like the Internal Security Act. Any information gathered from "witnesses" and "investigations" will never be disclosed to him or his lawyer, or the court. He will also not be able to defend himself against any allegations. Under this act, he will never have his day in court.

On March 25th, my brother, Ben, was denied his Constitutional rights.

For 2 weeks, our family went through hell. Sleepless nights, press waiting outside our door, Ben had asthma attacks after the police delayed themselves in acquiring the requested medication for 3 days, Mama, who is a cancer patient herself, suffered chest pains and lost her voice.
We felt it was all worth it, for we would be able to have him back.

But now, a new nightmare has begun.
Whether or not Ben is guilty, should not be for the Police to decide. If they HAD the evidence to strengthen their warrant for re-arrest, why was it not brought to court? Why is Ben not given a chance to defend himself? How can we ever know the authenticity of these so called witnesses and their statements? If there were ANY to begin with?

Under this act, I could simply be caught for any crimes of drug offences the police accuse me of, because they can claim they have enough information (even if they have absolutely nothing) and detain me. For 60 days, for 2 years, and even EXTEND it after.

Acts like this and the ISA are licenses for ARBITRARY arrest and detention. Anytime. Anywhere. Anybody.

My family and Amer will not back down. We will fight for Ben's right. We will speak up for all of those who were silenced before us, who will be silenced hereafter.

But we seek your help. In any way at all, help us fight this. Re-post this, write on your blogs, write to your local representative, to our newspapers, and together we shall use our voice, our art, our space, to stand up not just for Ben, but for all our rights.

Liberty is a Constitutional right. It's time to get it back.

Monday, April 5, 2010

like this ming, like this


tadaa! presenting, Doves!

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Gaga revised

oh my gosh. i really need to learn how to post up videos on the blog.

in any case, jared leto and 30 seconds to Mars is the bomb y'all. his voice. SO REFRESHING


please click me.

its a berry berry good video! Gaga-ques no less!


love

Friday, April 2, 2010

heart




i got Gaga a new skin. she felt so naked without it :)

now she's a bad bad girl !

PS : yeap. my lappie's female

Thursday, April 1, 2010

In case any of you were wondering

I'm doing great in IMU :) i've made many new friends at a rate faster than imaginable. haha
details? pictures speak louder than words!

so yeah, medical school turned out to be not as boring as i'd expected.
the things i like about imu?

1. free time :)
I know i was complaining about this just several posts back, but the free time is really useful for revision (for those disciplined enough to revise) and to catch up and make new friends

2. my groupies
group 13 is really awesome. it is no exaggeration that they definately live up to the standards of my high school mates. i am so glad i have such quality friends this early in university. 5 years don't seem that long anymore! :)

3. personal development
the more i grow up, the more i don't give a fuck i become. coming to imu is the furthest i've gone with this philosophy. and it's made me immensely happy. i do what i want to now. i act the way i am with you guys, on the very first day. the result? i make friends almost instantly. personality is convincingly always the key :)


of course, some things i don't like.

1. my jeans :(
casual clothing becomes possible only on weekends, even then i am out doing some activity or the other, requiring uniform... i did NOT spend a whooping rm180 to keep my Zara skinnies in the closet =(

2. my shoes :(
I actually can count the amount of times i've worn my new Vans. They're still NEW. it has inhibited me from getting that pair of NIKE shoes i heart.

3. my lack of formal wear :(
i hate spending money on formal wear. it's just not my thang. casual is my comfort zone. i guess in this aspect, i've picked the wrong profession.

omg. everything i dislike about imu is fashion-orientated! not bad!


and oh oh! i want a cover for my macbook la guys ><>

love love love. gdnite!