Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Short Script #1: Bus Stop

BUS STOP.

BOY: You should start texting me.

GIRL: What?

BOY: You should send me an sms.

GIRL: I’m sorry, but do I know you?

BOY: All the more reason to text one another. We can get to know each other.

GIRL: (Looks around.)

BOY: What’s your number? Mine’s 016-

GIRL: Wait!

BOY: What?

GIRL: You can’t just approach anybody and start giving out your hand phone number.

BOY: My house number is 787-

GIRL: No!

BOY: What now?

GIRL: You can’t just give people your number! Mobile, office, home or anything.

BOY: Why not?

GIRL: It’s creepy and weird. I don’t even know you.

BOY: Won’t texting and calling each other help remedy that problem?

GIRL: Yeah, it will, maybe, I don’t know. You’re not following protocol that’s the problem.

BOY: There’s a procedure?

GIRL: You first introduce yourself. A name would be nice. Where you’re from, what you do. That sort of thing?

BOY: Oh.

GIRL: You don’t know this?

BOY: No, not really.

GIRL: So you just go up to random strangers and give them your numbers in the hopes of becoming friends?

BOY: Pretty much.

GIRL: Well, you can go away now.

PAUSE.

BOY: What’s yours?

GIRL: My what?

BOY: Your number.

GIRL: I’m not giving you my number.

BOY: But without it I can’t send you a text.

GIRL: That’s the idea. You’re bright.

BOY: It’ll be a good, I promise.

GIRL: What’ll be good?

BOY: The text I’ll send to you.

GIRL: What do you mean the text’ll be good.

BOY: The sms. The one that I’ll send to you when you give me your number; it’ll be deep and full of meaning with lots of deep and full of meaning stuff like wells and dictionaries.

GIRL: (STARES.) Go away.

BOY: See. The text’ll be funny too.

GIRL IGNORES.

Come on. Just give me the first few numbers.

GIRL: And what, might I ask are you going to do with just the first few numbers? Guess the rest?

BOY: Exactly.

GIRL: WHAT?

BOY: Can you please stop replying with “what?” all the time?

GIRL: You’ll guess?

BOY: Yes.

GIRL: The other seven digits. You’ll guess them?

BOY: Yes.

GIRL: (STARES CURIOUSLY.) Zero one six.

BOY: Hmm this is going to be tough.

GIRL: Idiot.

BOY: Zero one six three one one five seven two two.

GIRL: How did you – Who set you up to this? – This is a prank.

BOY: The text’ll be shocking and surprising too. Full of wonder and mystery and-

GIRL: Shut up about the text. How did you guess my number?

BOY: I just strung a few digits together. So happened it was your number. Now will you text?

GIRL: So you just plucked seven random digits.

BOY: And it so happened to be your number, correct.

GIRL: How- the- probability would be -

BOY: It’s low.

GIRL: (REALIZATION.) Oh… you’re a mathematics person thingy aren’t you? You probably ran all the numbers and arrived at a conclusion or something like that didn’t you?

BOY: No. I’m not a mathematics person thingy.

GIRL: Then how in the world did you get my number right?

BOY: Luck. Chance. Fate. Destiny.

GIRL: Bullshit.

BOY: Look. Does it matter? Does it really matter how I guessed your number correctly?

GIRL: Yes.

BOY: Why?

GIRL: Cause it is!

BOY: I thought you would be different.

GIRL: In comparison to what?

BOY: Other girls.

GIRL: You do this to other girls as well?

BOY: Look! I like you okay? So I thought I’d just come over and get your number. But – never mind.

BOY GETS UP AND WHISTLES AS THOUGH HAILING FOR TRANSPORT.

GIRL: Wait. Where are you going.

A BUS STOPS. BOY GETS ON. BUS LEAVES.

CURTAIN.

END.

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